Before I Die...

I saw this Ted Talk on Mother's Day (because all I wanted to do was relax and stare at a T.V. for ONE DAY) and I wanted to share it with you because if you do or have ever felt less than you I highly recommend this brief talk.

She gave a few examples and two were my favorites; one was something like, 'before I die I want to be tried for piracy'. The other one yanked a teary emotional release I could not have predicted, 'before I die, I want to be truly me' - or something to that affect (watch it and correct me if you so desire). It hit me like a freight train and made me face how much I am still avoiding living completely as me and I don't have anyone to blame but me.

As she points out in the talk there is a lot of value in reflecting on death in order to know how to truly live. I haven't lived truly authentically at any point in my life because I'm not sure I ever really knew what that meant. Life for me was defined by other people's beliefs and fears so much of my life that when I left my marriage in 2009 I swore to figure out who I was without other people's influence overpowering me again. I've hit another plateau however, and I need to push through to the next level of being who I know I'm capable of being.

This got me to thinking that maybe for me the best way to figure out how to be more authentically me was to make a list of all the times I catch myself changing something for the sake of someone else, whether it's because I'm afraid of what they may say or think or it's because I am compromising a part of myself I don't want to compromise in order to meet someone else's expectations of me. I stand up for myself better than I ever have but I know I need to be better at it, especially in my own head and recognize when I'm getting hostile because I am holding ME back - there is no reason to take that out on people around me.

The Before I Die project has made over 550 walls in over 35 languages and over 70 countries. It will help you reflect and find the courage to be creative and to express what it is that you are holding back.

over 550 Before I Die walls have been created in over 35 languages and over 70 countries, including Kazakhstan, Iraq, Haiti, China, Ukraine, Portugal, Japan, Denmark, Argentina, and South Africa

over 550 Before I Die walls have been created in over 35 languages and over 70 countries, including Kazakhstan, Iraq, Haiti, China, Ukraine, Portugal, Japan, Denmark, Argentina, and South Africa